I Don't Know How You Are Always So Positive

I hear it a lot.

“You always seem so positive with everything you have going on.”

And they’re right. I do try to stay positive, even on days when the circumstances don’t exactly support it. That isn’t performative, and it isn’t denial. It’s just how I’ve learned to move through life.

What most people don’t see, though, is what that positivity is built on.

They don’t see the internal negotiations that happen when my hand strength disappears and opening a soda bottle turns into a problem I didn’t plan for. Or the moment when I sit down to write—something I’ve done my entire life—and realize my hands aren’t going to cooperate, so dictation becomes the workaround.

They don’t see the pause when I start helping with Christmas decorations and realize I’ve crossed the invisible line where my body steps in and says, “That’s enough for today.”

None of that is dramatic. It’s just reality.

Positivity Isn’t Ignoring the Hard Parts

Being positive doesn’t mean I’m unaware of what I’m dealing with. It doesn’t mean I don’t notice the limitations or feel frustrated when they show up.

It means I don’t let those moments define the entire day.

There’s a difference between acknowledging something is difficult and letting it consume every thought that follows. I still get irritated. I still have moments where I’m annoyed or disappointed. That’s normal. But I don’t sit in it longer than I need to.

Not because I’m “strong,” but because it’s not useful.

This Is Just Part of My Life Now

Chronic illness doesn’t come with an opt-out clause. It doesn’t wait for convenient timing, and it doesn’t care about plans or expectations.

So I’ve stopped treating every limitation like a personal injustice.

This is part of my life now. Some days that’s barely noticeable. Other days it’s front and center. Either way, constantly reacting with anger would only drain the energy I still need for the things that matter.

That choice isn’t about pretending everything is fine. It’s about deciding where my attention goes.

What Positivity Actually Looks Like

Sometimes positivity looks like adapting without making a big deal about it.

Sometimes it looks like knowing when to stop instead of pushing through for the sake of appearances.

Sometimes it looks like using tools I never imagined I’d rely on, or asking for help when I’d rather not.

And sometimes, it’s just accepting that today has limits—and that’s okay.

Why I Keep Choosing It

I don’t stay positive because I want sympathy, reassurance, or encouragement. I don’t need anyone to feel sorry for me.

I do it because the alternative costs too much.

Negativity doesn’t just affect me—it spills into the people around me, the work I care about, and the life I’m still building. Staying positive is how I protect those things.

So yes, I try to stay positive.

Not because things are easy.

Not because I don’t notice what’s hard.

But because this approach lets me keep moving forward—on my terms.

And for me, that’s enough.